Merry Christmas!

Alright, I'm here with my monthly post, lol. It's been a busy month...I've only had a few days the whole month that I didn't have any plans. But it is holiday and baby busy-ness, which makes it fun. I've been wrapping all my presents...I finished my shopping before the 23rd, which is a personal first! Todd's almost done with school FOREVER. Yayyyy. Hopefully he will finish his last paper today. He finished with an A in his ergonomics class, so we're both thrilled. Now he can be stressed about a crying baby instead! We loved the cake Brent and Cindy sent us. The baby liked it too.

I'm starting weekly visits to my doctor, and everything seems well, except that she seems to be a little bit small. Hopefully it doesn't cause any problems with the baby. But I certainly wouldn't object to having a 6 pound baby rather than a 10 pounder! I'm also excited for some fun baby showers. All of this is helping me to be excited rather than scared out of my wits.

I have to send a shoutout to all my coworkers, even though I don't think any of them even know I have a blog. On the last day before people started going out of town for Christmas, they brought treats and a card that they had all signed for me, along with gifts for the baby. Although I won't miss talking to angry people on the phone or looking up lost permits, I will miss working here. My coworkers are awesome friends who have always tried to make me feel included and appreciated. So next time you call Commuter Services to argue about a ticket and get annoyed with the person you're talking to, just remember that he or she is probably really a very nice person who is just trying to do their job. :)

So here I am wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Hollidays!

Finally a New Post

Yes, I know I haven't posted anything in a while. The problem is that nothing very interesting has happened in a while. And I haven't felt energetic enough to write about random things. But I'll give it a shot, if only to give you something to look at other than that rather unflattering photo of Todd.

I'm very proud of myself. I know many of you will feel the same when I tell you that I actually finished a just-for-fun project I started. I've been doing a cross-stitch, and I'm rather notorious for not finishing things like that. If you don't believe me, my mom can show you a sewing basket of mine with an unfinished quilt square and a knitting bag with half of a hat. Granted, this latest project was only a bookmark. I guess the trick is accomodating my short attention span with very small projects. I bet I'll get along famously with my baby girl...infants have no attention span either.

In other news, Todd and I plan to make a second attempt at a homemade pie for Thanksgiving. The Linfords might remember the apple pie we brought last year. We actually made two pies, but the dough got so crumbly for the second one that we couldn't save it. The first one would have been good, except that the store-bought apple pie filling we used wasn't a big hit. We're going to do cherry this year, so we're hoping for the best. It might turn out to be quite the adventure, though, so I'll let you know how that goes.

Finally, next time you reach for ketchup, just remember that it was derived from an East Asian sauce made from fermented fish. Yum.

Pictures

I know you're all dying to see the shiner I gave Todd, so feast your eyes on this really flattering picture:

The lighting in the photo makes it kind of hard to see, but look closely at the side of his eye to get an idea of his midnight battle wound.

I have to say that this Halloween was somewhat disappointing. I would guess that the number of little ghouls and power rangers that showed up at our door totaled less than 20. Todd and I even dressed up in some super spiffy costumes and stayed in with a pizza instead of going on our usual Friday night date. If we hadn't told the last group of teenagers to take a handful each, we'd be as hopped up on sugar as the kids! I suppose Halloween loses some of its magic as soon as you turn 12. Oh well. But since we didn't get to show off our spectacular costumes and pumpkins to the kids, I'll show them off to you. Please contain your excitement...

Surrender to Zorro!

Look closely to see my baby bump.

And let's not forget our masterful pumpkins:

Now that you've had your fill of picture fun, I have a question. For any of you with kids, I'd like to hear your opinions on epidurals. Especially if you have tried it both ways. I'm leaning toward getting one, but I want to know just how bad it really is if I chose not to. Let me know what you think!

Early Morning Adventures

I've finally done it. I've become a violent sleeper. Anyone who has ever shared a bed with me knows that it's no picnic, but I don't recall inflicting any lasting damage. Until now. I gave Todd a black eye in my sleep last week. Still mostly-asleep, I had propped myself up on my elbow to rotate my pillow to the fluffier and cooler side. Since Todd likes to sleep nice and close to me, he had his head right behind mine at the time. With the rotating process complete, I flopped back down, whacking the side of his face with my head. I must have come down pretty hard, because for the next week, poor Todd had a bruise, and I had a pretty good goose egg.

I've heard scarier stories about people punching their spouses or hitting them with pillows and things, but I never expected it to happen to me. I know my habits of kicking, tossing and turning, stealing pillows, and sticking my feet in other people's faces make me an annoying bedmate, but until now, I'd never injured anyone!

In other news, we thought maybe the stork had come early when we heard crying outside our window yesterday morning. We couldn't figure out where it was coming from. We didn't see anyone out the window, so we got dressed and investigated. Outside, we found a toddler wailing in the bushes, huddled against our front wall. She was in pajamas, barefoot, and clutching her doll. She could just walk, but couldn't yet tell us her name or where she lived. We know most of our neighbors now, but we don't know all their kids. So we walked around with her, knocking on doors until another neighbor saw us and told us who she was. It turns out she had escaped from the house right across the street. When we knocked, her mom opened the door looking panicked. Apparently, this little mischief maker had just learned a new trick: operating doorknobs. She had started letting herself out and wandering around by herself. A few nights earlier, her mom found her up the street in the middle of the night!

Our experience gave us a peek of the adventures of parenthood! I'm sure our little one will get herself into all kinds of trouble when she comes. :) I can't wait to find out what...

Broken Meters and Tuna Sandwiches

I'm going to tell everyone all about what's happening right this very second. It's 9:42. I'm eating a tunafish sandwich. It's edible, but not nearly as good as the killer tuna Mom makes. Yeah, I know it's a little weird so early in the morning, but I didn't get breakfast! Officer #32 is patrolling in lots 82 and 74, meter #14 is broken, and somebody has a flat tire. It's still pretty cool outside, but I have the air conditioning on. I thought I wouldn't have hot flashes for another 30 years or so! Ted and Geri are talking about an officer that ran into a bus the other day. The bus didn't hit him...he rode into a moving bus! I think that almost beats the time I ran into a stop sign. That had to be the most effective stop sign I've ever encountered. :)

Alright, I'll stop boring everyone now. It's sometimes difficult for me to comprehend, but I do realize that not a whole lot of people care about broken meters and tuna fish.

Laundry Day Dangers

I'm sitting here at work struggling to breathe. I took my uniform, including the maternity pants I bought for work, home to be washed and forgot to bring them back today. So I had to squeeze into my old pants that were into my locker. I did managed to wrestle the button together, but now it's rather difficult to move. It will probably be uncomfortable enough that I'll be sure to remember them tomorrow!

There's not much else to tell you today, except that the word "pencil" derives for the Latin word "penicillus," which means "little tail." Also, good news for Jessica: you cannot get lead poisoning by getting stabbed by a pencil. You can, however, get a permanent black mark on your nose. Fascinating information courtesy of: http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/Lists/?article=20ThingsPencils&GT1=27004

Break Out the Pink!

Ok, I'm guessing that there is at least a 95% chance that my baby's excited grandma-to-be has already told you, but just in case she overlooked anyone...it's a girl! I would have updated sooner, but I was pondering posting some of the ultrasound pictures. But that was taking way to much effort to figure out, and the only time I ever update is at work, so I gave up on that idea. So that's my excuse.

The ultrasound was really fun to see. It looks like we're going to have a really wiggly baby. She was rolling all around and grabbing her feet, and sucking her thumb. It took the technician nearly an hour to determine the sex of the baby. She was being a little shy and had scrunched herself up into only about half of her available space.

I am feeling her kick now, which is neat. Except that the other night I watched the show "Fringe" on Fox about a genetically mutated guy with messed up growth hormones who gets a girl pregnant. She has a super accelerated pregnancy and gives birth about an hour after getting pregnant. The baby then grew so fast it killed her during labor and went on to become an old man and die four hours later. The whole show was the stuff of nightmares for someone who actually is pregnant.

We haven't thought of any names yet. I'm afraid I've never been known for decisiveness. I'm thinking maybe I'll let Jessica name my kids after all. I'm sure she'll pick a good biblical name...like "Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz Argyle."

Tag Tidbits

Ok, Jessica tagged me so I'm going to seize the opportunity to share more about my wonderful life with everyone.

4 Places I've lived:
1. The good ol' house on Michigan Avenue. The basement may be a meat locker, but the rest is quite cozy and enjoyable.
2. I enjoyed the very, um, diverse atmosphere in room 101 at Utah State, where we mysteriously discovered beer in the fridge and where my roommate swallowed a live goldfish.
3. Todd and I took advantage of his parents' mission to live in their house. It was great, except for the decorations, which weren't exactly my thing, but which were too much trouble to take down and store.
4. A charming little duplex, whose only drawback is a landlord who likes to fix things but isn't very good at it.

4 Shows I watch:
1. The Red Green Show
2. Red Dwarf
3. Doctor Who
4. (Insert your favorite PBS show here)
(Can you tell we don't have cable at my house?)

4 Jobs I've had:
1. Warehouse Slave where I got very dirty
2. Warehouse Slave where I got very glittery
3. "Sandwich Artist/Teryaki Rice Bowl Maker"
4. Parking Nazi

4 Places I've visited:
1. Washington, DC
2. Mexico
3. New York
4. Hawaii

4 Favorite Foods:
1. Taco salad
2. Tuna sandwiches
3. Grilled Cheese sandwiches
4. Cinnamon rolls
(This one may be slightly skewed by my random cravings for things like sour cream)

4 Places I Would Rather Be:
1. Out in the awesome weather today
2. On the beach
3. Somewhere with a kitty cat
4. Umm, I can't think of any more. I guess I'm just such a content person.

4 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Painting my belly like a pumpkin on Halloween
2. Finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl (tomorrow!)
3. Christmas
4. No longer having to pay the university for anything like Todd's tuition and my parking permit.

4 Things I Do in My Spare Time:
1. This
2. Puzzles (number, word, jigsaw...)
3. Sleep (I do that a lot lately)
4. Play games

4 Favorite Things To Do With My Family:
1. Talk politics (Ok, so I don't really contribute much to these discussions, but it is entertaining to listen to all the arguing) Actually, just talking to my family is pretty fun because usually several conversations are going on at the same time.
2. Games
3. Fun Family Traditions like egg-breaking and gingerbread house making
4. Well, gosh, what wouldn't be my favorite activity when it involves the Fun Family?

I'm sure you will all sleep better tonight knowing a little more about Claire.

Sour Cream and Roosters

I've been informed that some people miss me when I don't update my blog. I'm glad to hear it. It's always nice to know that I'm loved. I don't really have much to say today, so I guess I'll just have to talk about random stuff that's happened.

Yesterday I had this incredible craving for sour cream. Nothing else, just sour cream. It was a real dilemma because I didn't have anything to eat with the sour cream, and I felt really silly eating sour cream by itself. Ah, pregnancy. Gotta love it.

On Tuesday, Todd was trying to think of ideas for activities for his young men's class. Trying to be helpful and think of a service project idea, I suggested that they put together hygiene kits. His response? "They're not THAT bad...they come pretty clean on Sundays..." I had a good laugh about that. The young men may be a little smelly sometimes, but I think the poor, homeless, and disaster victims probably need it more.

In the work world, Commuter Services is finally recovering from its summer crisis. Enough officers have been hired to replace the ones who left, and we finally have the handheld computers up and running to write tickets with. It's a good thing, too. Fall semester has started and it's a lot busier with all the people who don't know how to park. I've decided to stay in this job until I have the baby. My supervisor has agreed to keep me in the dispatch office and only sends me out when I volunteer. That can be pretty fun because I get to drive a little golf cart around instead of a bike. Me and those carts aren't always a good combination, though. The first time I ever drove one, nobody told me how to use it. I had to ask one of the maintenance guys, who looked at me like I was an idiot. Then I drove it into a banister. I've also crashed into a parking attendant's booth and forgotten that a golf cart doesn't have the same clearance as a bike when going off curbs. But I'm happy to report that I have yet to kill myself or anyone else.

In closing, I just want to pass on another fascinating tidbit from the internet. According to the Mythbuster's website, a farmer in Colorado beheaded one of his roosters in 1945. Mike the rooster then went on to live for 18 more months without a head. He survived because part of it's brain stem remained intact, while a blot clot stopped the bleeding. The farmer fed it food and water with an eyedropper into its gullet. It eventually choked to death in a hotel room. So now you know.

Olympic Sports

I know I promised I would, but I've decided not to bore everyone with a travellogue today. I know you just don't hear enough of them in testimony meetings anymore, but maybe you'll still get to when you're visiting teaching. Instead, I think I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and talk about the Olympics. After all, it only lasts two weeks every four years. I have to seize blog topics while I've got them. I'm also going to mix it up by including more "fascinating things Claire learned online while having nothing better to do at work." Try to contain your excitement.

Todd and I were pondering the other day how women's beach volleyball could be an olympic sport, while cricket is notoriously missing from the list. Well today I stumbled upon the answer. It turns out that cricket, croquet, golf, lacrosse, rugby, polo, and tug of war all used to be in the Olympics prior to 1924.

Now why anyone would want to do away with a fine sport like croquet is a mystery to me, but apparently a sport has to meet certain standards. A sport needs an association or governing body to qualify. It also needs to be popular in 75 countries for men's summer sports, 40 countries for women's summer sports, and 25 countries for winter sports. Unfortunately for all football fans, I don't think anyone plays that except for in the United States. I must admit I'm not too devastated about that. Anyway, I would recommend reading this column. In addition to being educational, it's also pretty entertaining.
http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/Columns/Default.aspx?article=olympics

Well, I guess I'm done talking for the day. Work decided to be busy for once!

Baby Update

Well, I'm back from vacation and back at work. It wouldn't be so bad, but it's a little depressing to think that I probably won't get another vacation until next summer, and by then I'll be changing diapers and scrambling for stuffed animals. I'm a fan of stuffed animals, of course...I mean, who isn't? I guess I'm just a little nervous about the sudden responsibility of a little one. And I'm pretty sure that's not unusual for a mom-to-be.

I'll give everyone a quick update on the baby and I'll try to cover all the questions I've been getting lately. I do not know yet if it's a boy or a girl, but we do plan to find out. I'm too excited to wait, and finding out makes it easier to plan for. I'll probably find that out next month. I'm kind of hoping for a boy, but both Todd and I have a hunch it's a girl. I'd be happy with a girl...it's just that I worry about what will happen when she gets to be a teenager. I know I was no picnic to deal with. At this month's appointment, they'll be taking my blood and making sure I don't have herpes or anything...although I'm pretty sure that's not going to be an issue. I haven't felt the baby kicking yet. The all-knowledgeable book says I probably won't until the end of this month or even into next month. I'm looking forward to that, but I don't know what to expect. I'll probably just think my tummy's rumbling when I finally do feel it.

That's all for today. I'll post again soon and tell you all about my vacation adventures. Maybe if I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll figure out how to post our fun pictures and videos.

Hamsters

I haven't updated for a while, so sorry to the three people who still look at my blog. The topic of today is how uneventful life is at Commuter Services lately. A parking enforcement officer's job depends on people parking badly. Usually, there are more bad parkers when there are more people on campus. It being summer semester, there are few students willing to study between the tortures of spring and fall. So now there are a few responsible students who park correctly as well as us employees who park in the same place every day.

Furthermore, while it seems like an officer is ready with a ticket whenever you stick a toe out of a parking line, we are actually so understaffed that at any given time there are only about 2 or 3 officers patrolling. (Now's a good time to be rebellious). We've also had an equipment crisis. We recently ordered new handheld computers to write tickets with, but we've had trouble programming them. Meanwhile, all of the old machines are dying. Last week, we couldn't even do things the old-fashioned hand-written way because we ran out of ticket books.

You'd think all this wouldn't affect me, since I've spent most of my time inside the dispatch office monitoring the radio and doing paperwork. The problem is that my job is to assist the officers by looking things up for them, so when the officers have nothing to do, I have even less to do. Fortunately, I have the good old world wide web to entertain me. So I'm going to enrich you with fascinating things I've learned while bored.

Let's talk hamsters. You're probably wondering why anyone would want to read about hamsters. This just shows the severity of my boredom. The weird thing about hamsters is that they are an endangered species in the wild. This is weird because hamsters are sexually mature six weeks after birth. Females go into heat every four days. They have a gestation period of only sixteen days and can give birth to up to eighteen young at a time. So how in the world could these breeding machines be endangered? It's a mystery.

A Confession

As an English major, I've read a lot of books, including some classics, which I would have felt ok about skipping. However, it has come to the attention of some of my family and friends that I have not read all the books that perhaps I should have...specifically Grapes of Wrath. First of all, let me just say that there is simply not time in a high school and college education to read all of the classics, especially when they throw in history textbooks and other such books that consume a student's valuable time. Nevertheless, I am going to come clean once and for all. Here is a list of books that I am particularly ashamed to say I've never read:

Gone with the Wind Margaret Mitchell
Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
Les Miserables Victor Hugo
Little Women Louisa May Alcott
Lord of the Flies William Golding
Moby Dick Herman Melville
Romeo and Juliet William Shakespeare (I know, I know...It's pitiful)
The Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger
The Last of the Mohicans James Fenimore Cooper
The Three Musketeers Alexandre Dumas
Treasure Island Robert Louis Stevenson
Uncle Tom's Cabin Harriet Beecher Stowe

These are not the only ones, either. These are just the top twelve books I feel embarrassed about missing. On the master list of 24 books, you'd also find things like Madame Bovary, but I seem to have mustered the courage to press forward in life without that one. So anyway, that's my confession. I'm a bad, bad English major.

Engineering Blues

Today, I want to share with you all a special presentation brought to my attention by my dad. It's called "An Engineer's Guide to Cats." Perhaps it's mostly just funny to me because I'm married to one, but as a non-engineer, it's still pretty awesome if you like cats.



As the wife of an engineer, I can tell you that this is all so true. Engineers really don't eat. If I didn't feed him, I think Todd might starve. I also had the opportunity to have dinner with several of his classmates and their families. After hearing about the myriads of complicated and expensive engineering projects these people plan to do for fun, I felt much better about Todd's solar-powered rotating plant stand project.

Glub Glub

I really have nothing to write about today, so I'm going to tell everyone about our miniature acquatic zoo. I know, exciting.

The Argyle Family Wildlife Center features three fascinating acquatic ecosystems. Billy, George, and Hank, our fire-bellied frogs, dominate the first. George, a bright green spotted creature, is the oldest resident and spends most of his time trying to figure out how to climb to the top of the tank and push open the screen. Billy likes to float on his belly in the "lake." Hank, sorely troubled by the lack of a female presence, constantly chirps in search of a lady love, which can be very annoying when we're trying to sleep. Sometimes, Hank throws conventionality to the wind and flirts with Billy, which usually results in a near drowning.

The resident "lake" is home to a variety of guppies, two large and very plain females, and three males with very frilly orange spotted tail fins. Occasionaly, we'll find a fresh batch of miniscule baby guppies. Unfortunately, these usually end up being sucked up by the filter, cannibalized by their parents, or being accidently flushed when we change the water. Our newest addition is a plecostomus, a gray algae eater, who I christened Slurp. I have to say I feel a little bit bad for Slurp, being the only gray ugly thing surrounded by all those frilly guppies.

The second tank is a tropical paradise, complete with a plastic rock island, REAL plants and moss (I know, we outdid ourselves), and a vine. You can stare at this tank for 15 minutes and not see anything if you aren't accustomed to Tarzan and Cheeta, our Vietnamese mossy frogs. They are fairly large and look just like mossy rocks. They like to hang on the glass with their sticky toes. Tarzan, like George, likes to hang out in the upper corners of the tank, looking for freedom. Cheeta sleeps most of the day, but readily wakes up when the biweekly crickets fall from the sky.

Finally, we must not forget Frank, Samantha, and Ralph. Todd bought Frank, an orange studmuffin, and Samantha, a spotted babe, as feeder fish, expecting them to die within a week. But they turned out to be Koi and have now grown quite large. Their days are pretty nondescript. I guess you don't have much of a life when you only have a three-second memory. They share their tank with Ralph, a small red-eared slider turtle. These are called red-eared sliders because of their red "ears" and their tendency to slide into the water at the slightest sign of danger. Sadly, Ralph's idea of danger includes me and Todd. We may not be intimidating or big to you, but I guess to a 4-inch skiddish turtle, we're horrifying monsters.

That concludes your backstage tour of the Argyle Acquatic Zoo. Tips are greatly appreciated, as our budget prevents expansion efforts.

A Tuesday Reverie

Oh, wow. I'm not sure what to say about all these inspired names! I'm simply torn between Jessica's "Gus Gus" and Mom's "Makahalan." Although I think Dad had a good idea with the cat thing, except that "Chester Argyle" would be even better than the others. It kind of sounds like an English aristocrat. Todd was looking at a baby names website and found names that mean "the fox," which is the meaning of his own name. There are some pretty interesting ones, including "Balgaire," "Crevan," "Devoss," and "Refr." So many choices!

It's my mom's birthday today. The big 37! Ok, not really, but she says birthdays make her feel old, and she can't be old until she has grandchildren. But I don't think being old is a prerequisite of being a grandparent. Look at my Grandma Palmer, for example. I think she does more in one day than I do in a week! My baby will have some pretty neat grandparents and an awesome great grandma. Anyway, happy birthday, Mom. :)

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood...

Well, it's officially official! For those of you who thought I already graduated last month, that's not 100% correct. The University has no problem letting you revel in the graduation celebration and then never giving you a diploma. But now, according to the all-knowing, all-powerful Campus Information System website, I am now a honest-to-goodness card-carrying graduate. Yay.

I'm also another year older. I went to work yesterday 21 and left 22. Pretty exciting stuff. It was a very nice day, and I only threw up once! Whew! Thanks, Baby A.

Speaking of babies, I thought it would be fun to hear everyone's suggestions for baby names. No guarantees of course, especially if you propose that I call it Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz or Mohonrimoriancomur (that means you, Jessica).

I'm Back!

I know, I know, it's been forever since I updated my blog! My sincerest apologies. The truth is, I haven't had much to write about until now. But now I can finally tell everyone the good news. I'm about to join the ranks of the moms. We're expecting a new little bundle of joy in January. Around January 19. We just saw the doctor yesterday, which was pretty fun. So if my mom hasn't called you yet (and there's a good possibility that she has), now you know. Right now I'm nice and sick. I've been trying to perfect methods of keeping down my breakfast. Unfortunately, none of these methods seem to work on a consistent basis. Any suggestions?

In other news, I'm looking for a new job. After riding around in the cold rain for four straight hours yesterday, sniffling, coughing, and trying not to puke, I just about quit. I thought it was supposed to be summer by now! The only problem is that we can't afford me not having a job. So if anyone has any bright ideas on where I can look for a job in writing or editing, I'm all ears.

Well, there's not too much else going on. Todd's on a house plant kick, so I'm letting him build a rotating solar-powered plant stand for our many green friends that he's so fond of. I finally got my car back after my last car mishap and I'm really happy not to be taking the bus, mostly because it means I can sleep for an extra half-hour. That may not sound like a lot, but when it's the difference between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning, it's a BIG difference.

I'm signing off for now, but I'll try to update a bit more often. :)

"Back Tuva Future"

Hello, everyone. Apparently, my mention of the wondrous Tuvan throat singing on my profile has aroused curiosity. Since several people have requested that I post a sample of this fabulous singing on my blog, I have tracked down a video of a Tuvan throat singer, Kongar-ol Ondar, who appeared on The David Letterman Show.




The Back Tuva Future cd first introduced me to this fascinating art form after I stumbled upon it in the library. I liked it so much I purchased the cd for myself to the annoyance of my sister, who for some odd reason does not share my passion. Perhaps I'm just weird, but when I listen to Ondar sing, I can't help but feel that he is celebrating life. His music invites me to partake of the joy he finds in the world around him.

Anyway, whether you like it or not, you have to admit it's pretty interesting. After all, I bet you can't sing four notes at the same time! I sure can't, that's for sure.

Hippopotami

Hello, everyone. This is another piece I did in creative writing. It was part of our creative nonfiction unit. The prompt was to write about an object that says something about myself. I wasn't too fond of this piece, actually, but my class liked it, so here it is.

Pride of the River Horse

In the palm of my hand, I cradle Hippopotamus amphibious, the river horse. She gazes up at me with eyes like a thunderstorm sky. Years ago, she hitched a ride out of the San Diego Zoo gift shop in my pocket. Souvenirs were a tradition in the Linford home, and I consequently acquired a lot of them. Brightly painted cats guarded my bookshelf. Posters crowded my walls. Ornate boxes overflowed with keepsake books. When I got married, most of these items remained in my childhood home to accumulate dust. But the little hippo still proudly defends my dresser wherever life takes us.

It was her pride that attracted my attention that day at the zoo. Her grin lured me away from the stuffed lions and quirky key chains. My mom chuckled over my selection, but I bought her anyway. At a time when my own body made me uncomfortable, her attitude inspired me. As she relaxes on my dresser, her skin drapes over her feet and bulges out from between them. And yet, she holds her head high. Recognizing such confidence as a possibility, I felt my sense of guilt diminishing when I indulged in an occasional cookie.

My hippopotamus sports a hide of stone which cools my skin but brightens my mood. Enjoying a strong bond with gravity, she will not budge for just anyone. She is firm, but her smile drives away any shred of annoyance. If only all role models stood—or sat—so steadfast! I imagine her sinking down for a rest after a long day of rolling in the mud and munching grass on the banks of the Zambezi. Perhaps her life wants glamour, but I envy her contentment. I budge a little less, now, as I enjoy my own unglamorous existence.

Her greengrey curves remind me of riverbed hikes between dazzling cliffs. Smooth rocks, striped and spotted, pave my way. I pick one up and carry it along with me for a time before replacing it with another. I cannot settle for just one, because no rock exactly matches another. Even the plain rocks have something to teach. This rock used to be sand. That one hardened from lava. The one over there had jagged edges once. Thousands of years in the making, they offer no apologies. Neither does my hippopotamus. And after 21 years, neither do I.

My 21 years do not come close to my hippo’s decades of experience, and it shows. I scowl in the mornings. I run into stop signs on my bike. I burn grilled cheese sandwiches. I’m an ordinary rock, still being carved. With each scraped knee and every broken heart, I leave behind pieces I don’t need. One day my sharp edges will curve. I’ll be a hippopotamus. Or maybe a porcupine. Or even a dandelion. Whatever I become, I’ll be it with pride.

A skillful hand once carved an ordinary rock. The sculptor knew this rock had something to say. He gave it a voice. I gave it an ear.

The End of an Era

I know, I haven't updated in too long. I will get on the ball soon. The truth is, my life has been crazy but uneventful. I honestly can't think of anything interesting to write. Well, there is my impending graduation next week, and that's always exciting. Let me just say that I have a tremendous respect for anyone who goes to school long enough to get more than a bachelor's degree. I think one more semester of school would finish me off. It feels pretty weird, though. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with myself once school doesn't have me running around like a chicken with its head cut off! I guess I'll have to be creative. :)

West Valley Blues

I wasn't going to bother writing about this last weekend until this morning. But then it got a bit more interesting.

I was in West Valley. Now, why was I in West Valley? Good question. It was out of sheer love for my daddy, that's why. I wanted to get him some gift certificates to some restaraunts near his office for his birthday. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of trying to actually find his office to see how close it was to various restaraunts. I never did find it. I did end up finding a mosque and a bunch of dead ends. I could see the freeway, but I couldn't reach it. I was so frustrated that I didn't see a big old SUV going the other way when I made a left turn, and now my insurance rates are ready for takeoff. Long story short, no one was hurt and both cars are still on the road, though poor "Shark" has seen better days. (Shark is my car's name. I believe that all cars need names that inspire confidence...especially when the cars I drive need fixing every six months or so).

Anyway, back to this morning. I get to work, and one of my coworkers calls me up on the radio and says, "I'm so glad you're alive!" Well, I hadn't told anyone at work about the accident, so I couldn't figure out why she would say that. Not that I'm complaining. It's always good to hear that someone's glad I'm alive. It's just that people don't come right out and tell me so very often. It turns out that she had dreamed I was dead.

Interpret that how you will, but I found it a bit disturbing, if only because of how my coworker must feel about me subconsciously.

Rugby, anyone?

I hope I didn't disturb anyone with the geoduck article. Maybe I should have eased people into my writing with something a bit more normal, lol. I just thought it was interesting and was amazed at how much of a fuss there was about something I'd never heard of. I'm one of those people that reads something that interests me and immediately thinks the rest of the world wants to know too, even if they could care less. My mom can attest to that. She got to learn all sorts of useless fascinating facts while I was in high school.

Anyway, enough about that. The only problem is that I don't have much else to say today. I'm at work in dispatch this morning and it's still pretty quiet. I'm trying to hide from my coworker who wants me to join the women's rugby team that he coaches. Now why anyone would think I would be good at rugby I don't know. It's laughable, really. I can't see myself running around tackling people. It's just not my thing.

Masterpiece #1

As promised, I have come up with more random information for you to read or utterly and completely ignore. It was actually a paper I wrote for my creative writing class. The assignment was to research a topic--any topic--and write about it creatively. Here goes:

The Mighty "Gooey-Duck"

Sitting at my desk at work this morning, I was interrupted by a coworker. "Have you ever heard of a gooey-duck?" she asked. Not surprisingly, no one had any idea what she was talking about. Not having any idea what a "gooey-duck" was, I wasn't sure I really wanted to find out. Nevertheless, we consulted the all-knowledgeable World Wide Web and unearthed this picture:

I let out an "eww" and resumed my paperwork. That evening, however, my mind drifted back to the "gooey-duck," and I thought perhaps I would give it a chance.

It turns out that the blob dangling from the shell in the picture above is a geoduck. Despite its spelling, my coworker had pronounced the name accurately. The name derives from a Native American word meaning "dig deep." The geoduck, Panopea abrupta, is the largest burrowing clam in the world, found in the Pacific Northwest. The geoduck begins life as a microscopic larva in the ocean. After a few weeks of going with the flow, the geoduck settles on the floor, where it will stay for the duration of its life. After finding a suitable spot, it begins burrowing at a rate of about 1 foot per year. Three years later, it stops. And it doesn't start again. Ever. Geoducks can live up to 146 years and exceed 15 pounds in weight, living a happy, boring life slurping up plankton.

If the clam escapes the hungry shrimp, crabs, sea stars, flounders, and snails until it is two feet underground, it becomes invincible. Almost. In some places, geoducks are considered a delicacy, although I can't fathom what would compel anyone to eat something that looks like that.

Some people, it seems, get excessively excited about geoducks. Many Washington natives indulge in a bit of geoduck hunting to relax. In addition, The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA has even embraced the geoduck as their mascot. They even have an entire song about it:

"Go, Geoducks go,
Through the mud and the sand,
let's go.
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.

Go, Geoducks go,
Stretch your necks when the tide
is low.
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out."

Whether or not you sing "The Geoduck Fight Song" with zeal, the geoduck deserves respect. If nothing else, it's certainly an interesting creature. After all, what other animal can sit motionless in the sand for 143 years and get away with it?


I found the information for this paper on the following websites:
http://www.manandmollusc.net/geoduck.html
http://www.billcasselman.com/canadian_food_words/cfw_four.htm
http://www.olywa.net/cook/faq.htm
http://www.wdfw.wa.gov/fish/shelfish/beachreg/2clam.htm
http://www.ecy.wa.gov/programs/sea/pugetsound/species/geoduck.html
http://www.evergreen.edu/athletics/geoduck.htm

Welcome!

Well, I'm finally starting a blog. The excitement of it all!

I'm graduating soon (hooray!) so I thought I'd do something crazy...like a blog. I know, it's real spontaneous. So I'll be dropping in periodically to tell you all stuff that you probably didn't care to know.

My question of the day is WHO ORDERED THIS WEATHER?

My random fact of the day is that most lipstick contains fish scales. (http://www.strangefacts.com/) Another reason not to wear makeup.