Glub Glub

I really have nothing to write about today, so I'm going to tell everyone about our miniature acquatic zoo. I know, exciting.

The Argyle Family Wildlife Center features three fascinating acquatic ecosystems. Billy, George, and Hank, our fire-bellied frogs, dominate the first. George, a bright green spotted creature, is the oldest resident and spends most of his time trying to figure out how to climb to the top of the tank and push open the screen. Billy likes to float on his belly in the "lake." Hank, sorely troubled by the lack of a female presence, constantly chirps in search of a lady love, which can be very annoying when we're trying to sleep. Sometimes, Hank throws conventionality to the wind and flirts with Billy, which usually results in a near drowning.

The resident "lake" is home to a variety of guppies, two large and very plain females, and three males with very frilly orange spotted tail fins. Occasionaly, we'll find a fresh batch of miniscule baby guppies. Unfortunately, these usually end up being sucked up by the filter, cannibalized by their parents, or being accidently flushed when we change the water. Our newest addition is a plecostomus, a gray algae eater, who I christened Slurp. I have to say I feel a little bit bad for Slurp, being the only gray ugly thing surrounded by all those frilly guppies.

The second tank is a tropical paradise, complete with a plastic rock island, REAL plants and moss (I know, we outdid ourselves), and a vine. You can stare at this tank for 15 minutes and not see anything if you aren't accustomed to Tarzan and Cheeta, our Vietnamese mossy frogs. They are fairly large and look just like mossy rocks. They like to hang on the glass with their sticky toes. Tarzan, like George, likes to hang out in the upper corners of the tank, looking for freedom. Cheeta sleeps most of the day, but readily wakes up when the biweekly crickets fall from the sky.

Finally, we must not forget Frank, Samantha, and Ralph. Todd bought Frank, an orange studmuffin, and Samantha, a spotted babe, as feeder fish, expecting them to die within a week. But they turned out to be Koi and have now grown quite large. Their days are pretty nondescript. I guess you don't have much of a life when you only have a three-second memory. They share their tank with Ralph, a small red-eared slider turtle. These are called red-eared sliders because of their red "ears" and their tendency to slide into the water at the slightest sign of danger. Sadly, Ralph's idea of danger includes me and Todd. We may not be intimidating or big to you, but I guess to a 4-inch skiddish turtle, we're horrifying monsters.

That concludes your backstage tour of the Argyle Acquatic Zoo. Tips are greatly appreciated, as our budget prevents expansion efforts.